Profond-Reflexion

2011-08-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

The words are mine, the touch is real

The presence is felt, the person is me

You know my face, you know the story

you know the time and you know my speech

Months when I dont see you, days when I dont answer

Hours that i spent alone, minutes that I count.

In the altitude of eagerness,

In the commotion of restlessness,

In the quietness of the facade,

In the darkness of grief,

The look is unreal, the tales are fake,

The clock is stuck and my words do slur.

Standing amidst the pace.

fallingly flying

The only shrine and the only place

The lord's grace to hold me on.

Strange is the creation and so is me

A pot full of thoughts

2010-10-17T01:39:00.000-07:00

When Imperfections become impeccable,

There lies no camouflage.

When disbelief retards dynamism,

There stays no fact.

When Issues resolve into queries,

there lies no answer.

When growth needs amendment,

there stays no acclivity.

When Meanings are moulded to shapes,

There lies no rivalry,

When attitude becomes accrue

There stays no fathom,

When tolerance becomes a habit

There lies no self,

When emotions get crucified

There stays no buffer.

When righteousness reveals its regression

There lies no spite,

But when experience behaves amateur

There still stays a teacher.

When There is No Time!

2010-09-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

Going in Yesterday, I blame that epoch,

Going in fissures of flash faces, I curse those folks,

Dreams intercepting with hallucination, I curse those nights,

Fumbling down ambushed, I blame my shoes.

Infinite lines pass through a point,

Line postulates as its asset,

Never did the point abnegate to diffuse itself,

Resolute empowers sovereignty,

Feeble creeps in tacit.

Time would be no refuge,but a holy destitute.

Circumstance would be no habit, aversion be dutiful.

Goodness would be no characterized, thoughtfully shady I be,

Fate would be no written, rather an inscription by hand.

Yet another dawn, although I do not fawn,

Yet another chance, although I do not intentionally lance,

Yet another crave, although I am not that brave,

Yet another inception, although its nothing more than my perception.

A quiver of wants, and fistful likes.

A tempest anguish, and a plaintive end.

Driven by a marshy road.

Grappling in my shell,

I would never ask even if i Fell.

:-)

2010-08-23T02:43:00.000-07:00

When eyes see no horizon,
When the mind releaves its commotion,
When the soul achieves its inertness.
There I stand bungled between the phases of time.

I wonder at the extremeties of God's creation.
A stupor at the contrasting behaviour,
I am bewildered at the seemless persona.
Never imagined myself emoting through the mirror of my own eyes.
How the gigantic jolt took me aback with tears at ogle.

I can now feel being carried away in God's kind arms.
An impeccably drafted journey.
Humbly accepting his presence.
Filling my emptiness with an awe-inspiring present.
I now have answers to those tears of beatitude.

The oooh la la fate for my head

2010-01-16T10:20:00.000-08:00

Ever thought how important is the one and only head we have been gifted? Well its not an issue to think in our already so busy and pell-mell lives. But this very incident or better described as an accident made me so much aware of how precious small things are.
On the 23rd dec 2009, i was getting dressed up for a small dinner get together with my friends. Mom and myself chit-chatting over a topic and i still remember the normal life i was living, unaware of what, few couple of hrs would put me into. I casually did a tata at home and proceeded to the place where we all friends had decided to meet up. Gossips and teasing,the noisy clamour were all a part of it. We planned to dine out at a lovely place somewhere located between gandhinagar and ahmedabad. Is dinner out a big deal?????
Well it isnt i know but unfortunately it was a very big deal. I was sitting behind on the bike with a friend, and the bike roughed its way on the streets. A garrulous girl like me with an unstopable mouth would have been definitely entertaining.
SUDDENLY...............................................................
BOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!
GUESS WOT?
As far as i remember there was a cream coloured object in front and everything faded off in front of my eyes. After some time when i partly opened my eyes, i was not even in a state of being purplexed seeing the cemented roof on top of me instead of the sky. As if i was in an inebriated state, confused , muddled up in my head , mind, and heart. I could not even make out that something big happened to me nevertheless i started vomitting emptied stomach. Oh yes with blood in attachment,not to forget. People around me were looking grave and worried but it could be for no long as i was repetitively becoming unconscious.
It was actually a head concussion on my small brain, thats just the back part of my head. Now all this i got to know much later. We actually hit a bulky, huge, giant, stupid, good for nothing NEELGAI. Surprising for many, but this animal came rushing from the sides of the roads where it was covered by forest area. And we dashed against it while my head struck the ground and i was completely in the unconscious state untill i was taken by my friends to the hospital in emergency. But the most frustrating part was my friend who was driving was perfectly fine.Infact he took me to the hospital.Okay thank god otherwise who wud hv carried us both..hehe.
In some minutes i was crying in pain and there were my parents looking completely drowned in pool of tension trying to hold me and feel better. I was hurriedly taken for the CT scan on a streacher.Symptoms of the blow i guess, i was getting drowsy time and again.Well the good news was that the report was normal and the doc told my parents that everything was fine and she needs rest and complete bed rest for 4 to 6 weeks. Just imagine!!!!!
I did not know what exactly was going on and how worse the symptoms were causing ruckus to me.Only what i remember was some wierd people visiting me in the hospital and showing concern over that accident.
I was hospitalized there and asked not to move my head at all. The back part was swollen and it was involuntarily that made me stay in one position. I was craving for food but the doc told me that coz i had been hungry all day and vomitted with nothing inside i hadnt the potential to intake anything. I was kept starved and given the drip of saline on my wrist to keep my body hydrated.The next morning i woke up, I realised the entire set up, was told all the facts and details about the dreadful night. I thought i might be fine, and all this is just to make me feel terrible.I tried to get up,although i was uncomfortable.But this extra courageous attitude in me was hovering over my health and i started munching on an apple, contiguous with an orange, like any normal person. After 15minutes i vomitted.A piece of cadbury's dairymilk was fed to energize me. But for no more than half an hr was it in my stomach. i did not even spare water. Whatever went in came gushing out within mintues. It was then i realised i was actually not well.I gave in, and was lying. It was a challenge to even shift me in the car after i was discharged. Everyone just had to bear my vomitting in return, as a slight movement in my neck that caused a dizzy feel and made me nauseous. The next 2 days were the worst days of my life. I felt as if god is asking for some gratuity in return to have given me these 22 yrs of life.I was taken to another hospital for a second opinion.The commotion it caused to me was beyond my expression. only my vomitings were the answer. Being on the bed for the entire day and night, followed by the next day in the same position , was really tearing me apart. I was on a liquid diet which was actually equivalent to nothing. My stomach had become weak and i coudn take in anything.The smell of the same soup every while, and the antibiotics sickened every nook and corner of my body. I started to vomit for no rhyme or reason.It continued for a week.
The Christmas, and New Yr all passed away and i was wondering as if i ll be ever back to normal or not.The house i am in, where i tumble every now and then, roam about freely all the time and climbing up n down the stairs endless times, all seemed impossible and only a thing of reminisce to me. I use to look at the creb which i had made on my own out of thermocol and clay on 23rd evening itself. All the decorations for the christmas tree were kept tied inside a poly bag which was never opened. A religious tea drinker like me was out of all milk products.
Gradually on 2nd i thought to myself that enough is enough. i need to be strong and try getting up. I took off the blanket , kept my feet on the ground and closed my eyes. I held my head tight to control the giddy feel and started walking. I felt like heaven.As if i was out of some paralytic condition. I shocked my mom, although she was happy and worried at the same time.Ever since then everyday was somewhat better than the previous. Only the new thing was that i was trying to be normal and my parents who were already traumatized by the incident wanted me to rest. Then i never looked back, although i use to waiver while walking, sometimes fall for no reason,needed support to walk,but i was so nauseated with lying and sleeping that i just wanted to be upright.
Its been 21 days now and i am licensed to be like a normal person although i had broken the rule long back. But i am still being pampered for not stressing at all and it will last for a month or so.I am still making faces seeing a tea, coffee or any milk product. The capacity with which i vomitted had made me allergic to few things. And my gyming and exercises is at bay.Hope mom and dad allow me to go back and resume the normal life soon. People say i look pale and weak, and i am really happy to receive these compliments as i look thin its more than enough. But nobody @ home likes this, i am been fed so badly, the doc says to give all energetic foods to give me inner strength coz this head is the most sensitive and vital part of the body that needs full and healthy recovery. But slowly i have started moving out, and after a long wait and request had a great time watching a movie at the theatre.My lovely friends come to see me which added the zest to heal sooner.And the blessings of my neighbours, family friends who visited me during the critical time.But not to forget my parents who nursed me at every step.Things are coming back to "normal".It feels great.:-) And what i learned is to have immense patience and ofcourse destiny decides its own course.

do u believe in karma??

2009-09-29T16:58:00.000-07:00

what is karma? karma is nothing but ones deeds. But y am i talking about such a spiritual subject.well all our lives are chained to karma in some way or other. Remember the age old maxim that we just blurt out whenever something wrong takes place. "jo hua achhe ke liye hua". if v think deeply it actually makes a lot of meaning. in our lives so many thing happen. some are good while others may be noxious. But only those people who see the repugnant part can believe in karma.
The logic of karma is like newtons third law of motion" Ever action has an equal and opposite reaction". Its the same as ,as u sow ,so shall you reap... There are two schools of thought in relation to this. one says that whatever sinful you do in this birth , is paid to u back in the next rebirth. while the second school of thought says that whatever you do,good or bad, is resolved , repaid to you in this very same birth... now how cool is that. In the Hindu mythology the first school of thought is given a lot of importance. But few of the holy spiritual people , the sages of the past who have acquired knowledge and wisdom out of meditation do believe in the magic of karma. So many people we know around us who actually resort to innumerable vices. Now if we follow the analogy of karma such people will not be spared. Its not something i am speaking hypothetically. i have experienced it.
Let things take its own course. And if your inner conscience is pure , there is no way you ll be harmed. As i have my own story and history where i had let things go , i actually received kudos in return. Decades back mahatma Gandhi came up with this weapon of non-violence.i do accept that it might be an obsolete thought today but on a deeper delve ,it may be karma itself. we got our independence not because we resorted in non-violence ,it was bcoz Britishers were running out or resources to support or rule a country. now wasn't that our karma.. that could probably be the reason. well these are just imaginations of a spirited minded people like me.
Now let me talk about my very own experience. Talking abt it might be controversial,but there were people in my life who gave me tough time. I knew they ll get their fruit in some form. Some day i will definitely get a pleasant news about them. This is my belief in karma. There is always one time in you life where you r been put on a testing machine. And that is the time where you should not let the evil dance on your head. We are always provoked to do so, but if you do good , there is no better respect you will earn for yourself. At the end of the day you can look up in the sky and shout aloud " that i am pure, i am holy". some day or other every person will be a victim of karma. Life is a chain reaction, it will fall on you if u make it fall on other.. Nobody can run, you, me , we are all puppets in the hands of the laws made by nature.
This article is for peace-loving people like me...cheers!!!!!

oopps!!!! is now okay

2009-07-03T23:12:00.000-07:00

hii friends.... the title may sound lil absurd to one and all..let me clear the picture of what exactlyy i am trying to potray..... all of us have certain instances in our lives, where we feel like hiding our faces... my life of 21&1/2 yrs has shown me an alarming number of such incidents where i exclaimed""" oops!!!!""". Right from my school days followed by the 4 yrs of college and hostel i mite have come across infinite such experiences.
My classmates would defnitely agree to this,but i mite be the only girl whom they wud have got bored watching ,shedding tears..its been such a hard luck, i dont understand as why i become the scrape goat. I actually believe that there is some shadow walking with me which somehow makes me land in "shit" always..if i can recall few of the descent ones worth naratting ,i was in 10th std when once i had gone toa nice , pretty shop to buy a perfume for a friend.very casully and meticulously i was smelling the fragrances when " ksssssshhhhhhhhh"a bottle fell from hand and it was all on the floor. i felt as if i could dissolve in that and disappear into fumes. i remember being into pool of mud during the rainy reasons and it was somewhere near my hostel, i was trying to come out of it, but the more i tried to escape the deeper i scrolled down. and there passed a bunch of people who looked ,starred and laughed,instead of helping me to come out.
how can i forget,me being sacked out of the class for writing the file during lectures for which i dint get an entry for a week. i was made to get signatures from the principal and i actually lost some weight climbing, up and down rigorously for getting permissions and buttering teachers to allow me.The best and the funniest part of it was after the matter was resolved i came out of the office and i simple cried..the level of frustration was so high that it wasnt funny then. Another time i was walking back from my college to the hostel, and god really dint make it fair, my footware broke while i was walking in the foyer. I mean dint the chappals get a better place to break. when hundreds of people are glaring at u and u break your shoes its not just oopps!!! to add this my friend started laughing instead of helping.. its like bad things come in bulk. In second yr i was to board a train from Anand to Ludhiane. there was a wedding and i was asked by my dad to travel by myself. it was the first time i was to do such a long night journey alone.. now Anand station at that time had 3 platforms outta which 2nd and 3rd are the functional ones. there was this platform which had no number and was directly connected to the entry point of the station. i was very intelligent to believe that its the no 1 platform and waited for the train. 12;30.....a train came whistling to somewhere far ahead. and there my eyes popped out seeing the name.. it was the train which i had to board. i toppled up and down, juggling my footsteps doing gymnastics over 3 consecutive platforms and i opened the door from behind while the train started to move. thank god that i managed to get it, no matter i was something like a entertainment for people there but my parents wud hv kicked me hard had i missed it..
such incidents actually have no end. All my very close friends in the past and present, i guess would agree to this if they read this article..
but over the time i have learned now to tackle such embarasements... its not new for me to say ooopsss noww..haha!!!!!

$$$ HOPES $$$

2009-07-02T11:36:00.000-07:00

Today, i saw myself in the mirror,
I starred at my own eyes, revealing the undercovered secrets,
there was something enigmatic,
Suddenly they winked as the lashes tossed up and down,
there was some truth trying to shape,
nevertheless, the lashes became a veil to those mysteries.
The eyeballs waved disclosure of this ignorance.
They were trying to speak , but to my agapement,
I felt as if the factual stories were stitched with the needle abandoning it forever
under the burial of lost time,
I humbly pray that the future does not hold any falsehood.
The marks will dispel with the clock,
but the memories still knock at my door in the middle of the night leaving me disordered.
but now as i see myself on the threshold of another life,
i can see those eyes straight,
there is no fear,
Such atrocities are now bound to melt away,
There should be no hidden stories,
Clearing the illusionment of doubt ,i wanto nimble with
bold footsteps , with level headed mind,
These eyes will stand proud, now and always.......

MET MY BESTEST PAL

2009-05-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

AFTER AGES I FELT I MET MY VERY OWN REFLECTION, IT WAS THE ULTIMATE DAY AND NIGHT..
THIS WAS JUST A FEW DAYS BACK WHEN I MET MY BEST FRIEND AFTER SO LONG. I WAS WAITING ANXIOUSLY FOR HER TO ARRIVE IN OUR VERY OWN CITY,WHEN I CALLED HER AND HEARD HER VOICE. THIS FEELING IS UNUSUAL FROM OTHERS. OUR GREAT GROUP OF FOUR HAD A RELAXING EVENING IN A CAFE, WHERE WE CHIT-CHATTED , LAUGHED, GIGGLED ,ATE AND BOISTEROUSLY WERE LOUD ENOUGH TO BE A SHOW.WELL, JOKES APART IT WAS A TIME GENIUNELY SO BUBBLING TO LIFE.
ME AND MY DARLING FRIEND WENT TO HER PLACE , WHERE I MET AUNTY(HER MOM) AND HER CUTE SIS ALSO AFTER QUITE SOMETIME. ME AND AUNTY HAVE OUR OWN EQUATION AND WE CANT STOP TO TALK AND TALK. IT WAS ALMOST 1 AM IN THE MORNING... MY FRIEND WAS MAKING A LEMONADE WHILE I BEGUN NARRATING MY RIDICULING COLLEGE LIFE . AH MAN!!!! SHE IS SOMEONE I SPEAK MY HEART OUT. IT IS SHE WHO BRINGS BACK MY FAITH IN FRIENDSHIP OTHERWISE NOW THE MEANING OF IT IS BADLY AND FALSELY DISTORTED. I STILL REMEMBER MY MOM TELLING ME WHEN I WAS IN 5TH OR 6TH GRADE , THAT U ARE LUCKY OF HAVING A FRIEND LIKE HER.I NEVER BOTHERED TO THINK ABOUT IT, AS I THOUGHT EVERYONE MIGHT BE HAVING ONE. BUT I WAS SO WRONG NOBODY CAN REPLACE THOSE PRECIOUS OLD PALS. BUT NOW AS I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MEAN ONES AND MY SPECIAL ONES I TREASURE MY LOVED ONES EVEN MORE ..SHE FELT SO BAD FOR ME. THERE IS ONE THING SHE SAID THAT I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER.SHE SAID" THE BAD IS THE ONSET OF SOMETHING GOOD". ALTHOUGH I DO NOT EXPECT GOOD BUT AS ALWAYS SHE BRINGS A RAY OF HOPE BACK INTO MY LIFE. HOW THE NIGHT TURNED INTO DAY AND WE WERE FALLEN APART LYING AND DOZING OFF, NONE OF US REALISED. THE MORNING BREEZE AND THE CHIRPING BIRDS WINKED MY EYES AND I WOKE UP... SHE WAS FAST ASLEEP LOOKING LIKE A PURE HEART AS ALWAYS. I PATTED HER , WISHED HER GOODMORNING ,GREETED HER A GOOD LUCK FOR HER INTERNSHIP FOR WHICH SHE WAS TO LEAVE THAT DAY ITSELF.I QUIETLY SAID A GOODBYE AND LEFT FROM HER PLACE.(I WISH SHE WAS STILL ASLEEP AS SHE WAS TO HAVE A LONG TIRING DAY AHEAD.)
IF I TRY TO THINK IT WAS JUST THOSE FEW HRS BUT STILL SO FULL OF SUBSTANCE. I HOPE SHE IS DOING GOOD. AND THIS ARTICLE IS SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO HER MY DEAREST FRIEND....PRIYA!!!!!

STAY CHIC & FLICK THIS SUMMER!

2009-04-23T03:23:00.000-07:00

A long summer break we all long for as v count the last working days of college.packing bags for summer holidays is wot undoubtedly we await for..... and for people like me who reside in hostel, tag their homes to be the best place for a cool summer holiday.
Often it happens that when we come home , it makes us so very relaxed that the process of relaxation contiguously is carrried of ,for weeks. On the day-today basis we tend to make several plans for the summer break, but somehow cannot manage to follow even one of the "TO-DO" list. and the simplest excuse one can give is" oh its vacation and we just come home after the busy days of work".
BUT HOW LONG?
do v ask ourselves how long will v remain busy doing absolutely NOTHING.
its a question of choice
mostly what happens is the first few weeks go in complete relaxation, and by the time we think of doing something nearly half of the time wud hv already passed and now its time to "supposedly study". And this is the time which again gets wasted in partly showing interest on what exactly we "want" to do and what we "should" do. This conflict leads to nowhere. and the beautiful happy days go away with no gain at all...
'FUNNY' BUT THE FACT
There are additional repurcussions to it as well:
1) weighty hastles:- simplest activity what students indulge into is munching, eating and gulping......This leads to the visibility of oodles of calories on the body.
2)wandering mind:- It is an experience everybody might hv had...... vacation time makes our head go so haywire tht getting back on track becomes an effort for those who want to get back.
3)a clumsy schedule:- This might be a complain coming from all mothers. sleeping late at night and getting up when the sun is right on the top,makes jack unhealhty,poor and unwise. it is indeed difficult to have a disciplined schedule. i remember telling my mother that vacations is a time to leave worry under the bed and sleep, to this she just had one thing to say... vacation does mean u become an animal.
If you are a victim of one of these or ALL episodes as i mentioned above , i got a few ideas and measures to help u overcome them.
1) JOIN SOMETHING IS THE MORNING: the bestest way to solve the problem 1. 2. and 3. is to join some physical activity in the morning. It helps you maintain your body shape, keeps you focussed from unwanted businesses and not to forget makes you sleep early at night.
In my opinion one should choose an activity which is of your choice at the same time help you in some way or the other. It could a morning swim, tennis, basketball, cricket ,football, yoga , gyming or may be a quiet long walk...... walking according to me doesnt help you because it keeps you up for maximum for 4 to 5 days,not more.
2)GO OUT FOR A TRECKING OR HIKING:- now for this one needs some good friends to accompany. but you can go with family as well. This has an additional advantage of having a gala time in some nice chilly cool place of your interest.
3)STOP SLEEPING IN THE NOONS: If u overcome a sleep during the noons then definitely the body clock works well. one sleeps early, tht follows waking up early. this is turn helps you maintain a healthier living style.
4) GIVE YOUR COMPANY TO YOUR KITCHEN:- This is for all lazy bones , who do not get up even for eating or having a glass of water. A search shows that we loose 135 colories if we stand for an hr.... so make your own food, loose some and then gain some to balance...hehe....
Personally speaking i get bored big time during hols and it is a dire need for me to indulge into something. Here was something i thought of bringing out as an article , it could probably be helpful to those of few who read...... But do not mix work with fun.
above all .it is time to "not to study"!!!!!!!!!!!

A difficult day!

2009-04-18T15:25:00.000-07:00

Ah!!!! As i am here writing the day's experience i can feel the same stress as i suffered all day going through every bit of it...
friday,night 17th april: The sudden feeling tht am trying to study too hard with the papers in hand but unable to get a single word........ exam fever was not over yet and i am feeling sulky for the fact tht none in the hostel except some few are with their heads down....
The absence of my roommate, the loneliness, seeing people enjoy in other businesses and a subject in which you have made the maximum bunks with no written material all made me so confused and into dismay that i felt like a tortoise trying to speed up as fast as possible but cant do anything except WAIT FOR THE RACE TO GET OVER........
But the pressure and tension still helped me to concentrate and made me a little satisfied.
I set the alarm of 6am in the morning for the exam at 10am....
saturday,morning 18th april: my eyes flipped up exactly at 8:35 in the morning and for a moment i dint realise wot was happening. suddenly seeing the reading material in front i yelled for about 5 minutes fully, screaming, panicing when finally i recalled the fact that i got not even an hour to study.
going for an exam without revision is like making a fool out of myself in the exam room.
my eyes werent even completely opened as i started reading, reading and reading(a psychological imbalance seeing the time made me do), although i still don know wot exactly happened to the alarm.
i continuously told myself that i will just reach the college on time at 10, and not before it by any chance.
now let me clear the fact that i reached much early and infact had a nice cup of hot tea before going.
WHAT CAN BE DONE IN AN HR WHEN A DAY BEFORE I COULDN DO.....????
the result: paper was nearly bad... and i made good beautiful mistakes, because of the shocked status early in the morning.
leaving this apart going back home was another herculean task......
hurriedly catching the train with an overloaded bag of fat books in a boggie where i forced myself in....( i guess the load i carried kept me fixed inside).
as i entered in there was hell right in front...
people toppled over one another,rolling here and there to make space with their high frequency shrills tearing my eardrum.
with gr8 difficulty i placed my bags over my feet to minimize my space occupation, but nevertheless a lady right behind me stood doing nothing actually, gave me a tough competition to stand (issue: her weight).
i repented big time of having chosen this boggie. on above i was too tightly packed even to come out smoothly.
god forbid even if an entra pin wud have entered,definitely there could have been a blastwith people falling apart.
my legs suffered a major pain, the empty stomach , and sleepless nightts spent for exams made me feeble.
on above obese uncouth ladies were testing my flexibility skills as they made motion making me swing , bent,incline and rotate.
finally i reached out saving myself asi reached the station. there was this sudden oxygen intake which made me feel better.
following this... the bus wait, the travel time and finally reaching home ......ahhhhh all in a go.
i hope such a day never comes again!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was bad
really bad...
i mean it!

Freedom

2009-03-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

At last i found myself back!!!!! i am overwhelmed to write an article on this as freedom to me is very vital. being a typical saggitarian i love my freedom. over the time that has passed i have experienced this change from non- independence to independence so drastically that i am still not able to absorb it. for me independence is not abt breaking some rules and pertinently doing what i like, it is about a freedom of mind. unless a person is free from within he cannot survive. on the contrary it is equally important to give yourself this opportunity to experience this independence. one lesson that i have learnt lately is to live for yourself. it is really unfortunate that people for whom you live take you for granted. one has to fight for that freedom. And now that i have lived the hell and heaven , i can differentiate how beautiful it is to live for yourself. i can think what i want, i can lie on the bed aimlessly wondering for hours, i can chit-chat with my dear people who actually think "good" for me, i can keep myself busy all day in reading, watching movies, and not to forget sleep.
There is a psychological fact that i felt it very cogently is that when you are free, thats your home and when your bound by something thats just a shed on ur head. ealier i was changed person who couldnt sleep properly for more than five hrs continously in a day. but now i sleep for hours and hours bunking the first lecture of my college almost every saturday. though when i get up i feel " OH NOOO". But then i smile early in the morning thinking how satisfactorily i slept. and then i say to myself "whats that BIG deal". this new side of mine is so carefree, active, bubbling to life, and thats where i have re-discovered myself to what i actually was. and for this i thank all those near and dear ones who made this possible for me. i strongly feel that we are all the reflection of the atmosphere around. good people make healthy atmosphere. And no person is introvert. its just the circumstances that make. because every person yearns for that acceptance to open up and help in making the place more congenial to live!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ATTITUDE....IS IT?

2009-01-08T05:04:00.000-08:00

Can all of us recall the time when we were in the early years of our school life? The time when we were been taught English words and their meanings.. I as small little school going girl with crisp school uniform put on neatly and tightly combed two plats use to be a very keen listener to our teacher teaching us simple words that we purposefully used in our sentences to appeal people and make them aware how wonderfully we spoke..hehe.. you might be wondering from where is this connected to my topic..well i still remember the perfect meaning to ATTITUE that my teacher told us.
Attitude has quite many meanings.1) way of thinking or feeling about someone or something 2) a posture of a body and 3) self confidence or an hostile behaviour
Our centre lies in the third meaning. Before i go ahead, it is very vital to echo that the third meaning i proposed above is actually an “informal” usage. The youth of today is so very attracted with this usage that it is now considered to be a style statement to show ones “attitude”, to stay COOL.
I have two complaints regarding this issue 1) SHOULD THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE BE DISTORTED FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SHOW IT.2) SECONDLY THE MEANING HAS BEEN TOO BADLY EXAGGERATED.. .THESE DAYS IT IS MORE OF OVER-CONFIDENCE AND A PRETENCE THAT IS DEFINED AS ATTITUDE...
The rule lies simple.......”you do not need to show anything if u really possess it” . And moreover it becomes funny and a matter of stupidity if people who do not have it in them try to flaunt it in the most fashionable manner.
Here are some incidents of people who i know show big time attitude as per the language thats used to define it these days, and i had a hearty laugh:
1) When a person tries to speak the language mostly English, tht he unfortunately cannot its high time stop it, practice speaking at your place, read books, listen others, but do some good to yourself. why do you want to be a laughing stock? Forget looking COOL, you aren’t applicable rather.
2) Ah!!!! People who dress up gawdily and want to wear things that arent made for them. some people even go to the extent to buy /wear things that they saw was looking good on somebody...in plain language. COPY CATS have no dignity or self-esteem of their own. Wearing something thats latest and trendy is folly. Comfort clothes is what shapes your personality.
3) Most importantly people who keep talking about themselves.....give me a break boy! “ if u talk big about yourself it doesn’t reveal anything good about the kind of attitude u have. I feel that you are very narrow minded and have a self-centric approach...
4) How can i forget.... ? if a person is a real substance he/she will never have stage fear or fear of showing his/her talents... i have seen people who otherwise claim to be so confident and kingly, but when it comes to facing the world, their feet cannot bear their presence on a platform. To such i can only say” where did that FAT ego of behaving BIG go?”
5) Lastly , very much seen people who use slangs to abuse..OR people who pull down others for pushing themselves up... if you speaking absurd and filth, and consider that by doing this you are climbing the mountain of progess, let me just say it that you are creating a web of falsehood around youself. Its high time improve for your own betterment.
RIGHT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS HERE:
1) Down to earth and humbleness if seen.........thats commendable.
2) Knowing where you stand and being introspective.
3) Being smart to understand and judge people,their basic nature. I have seen there are some guys who cannot judge the girl , befooling him.
4) People who are multi-skilled and yet are helpful by nature. omnipotent mines speak for their work ,they do need to put up a show.

These incidents, points that i quoted have been propelled out by experiences and my close observances at them. It is so easy to be youself. Then i do not understand why people try to become someone else.
Attitude is simple your self-confidence, your ability , your potentialities ,your perfect and precise state of ming. It is something far apart from arrogance.i personally think the youth of today should catch hold of the dictionary to understand its actual meaning.

My NewYear Resolutions

2009-01-03T06:57:00.000-08:00

This is practically the first time i am actually sitting to decide the resolutions i am going to take up...Till now i always wondered resolutions are never successful....but today itself i read an article in the newspaper and the method that they described in it helped me to be determineD to take up resolutions...so am publishing it in my blog..and hence if by any chance i am about to break it...people who are reading will make me remember about it...its actually quite an interesting idea...hehe...
To begin with my first resolution will be
1) TO BE HAPPY
According to me if i stay happy i can abide myself to the resolutions i take up....if i stay sulky most of the times i cannot be strict about the resolutions.
2) TO READ NEWSPAPER EVERYDAY
Now this is difficult for me as i live in the hostel. But i will try my hardest to read newspaper everyday..
3) LOOSE WEIGHT
This is something i am trying since past ages..if i recall...ok ..ok i was successful upto some extent. But this time now tht i am taking this as a resolution i will have to try my level best to cut down with the calories as well as eat healthy( which is practically impossible coz as i said i live in the hostel)....ok fine.. I WILL TRY.
4) BE BUSY WITH SOME CONSTRUCTIVE WORK
Usually i am engaged with fruitful business but taking up as an resolution will help me inculcate it in my nature forever......I HATE GOSSIP MONGERS. and therefore i always try to remain out of it.... constructive things would include catching hold of some reading material, going for a nice long morning or evening walks, adding up articles and poems in my blog, and making effort both by energy and time to eat healthy stuff etc etc.....
5)REMAIN AWAY FROM MOBILE
This is something i have already begun to practice since quite long...Even though i am not home most of the times i will try to be disciplined about this particularly..... mobile radiations are harmful...why doesn the youth of today understand it..(including me) hehe...ok i am following it now...moreover remaining busy on phone is an invitation to several other troubles which later become problems of life....Why in the past lives of people were less complex? owing to be absence of this technology. ok so "NO TO MOBILE". Its only for remaining connected to my family....REMEMBER..
6) DO NOT MISS YOGA
I am really thankful to the kind of bringing up my parents gave me, my school(MT CARMEL AND ST XAVIERS) and not to forget my dear friend PRIYA who always instilled me the importance of fitness..."basketball" came from school and "yoga" comes from my friend and "walking" comes from my darling mummy...I do practice yoga and promise to continue doing it.
7)ALWAYS BE CONFIDENT ABOUT YOURSELF
I was quite a confident person some 4 yrs before i can say.....Due to certain reasons i was loosing it and had nearly lost it...this year i want to get back my 100% confidence...
SEVEN resolutions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is long list of many more things but limiting them to seven will help me successfully fulfil them...i wish, i pray, i follow my resolutions and remain focussed about it till the next new year comes....If i am able to achieve it next year i will increase the number of resolutions......I want to be a very controlled person , and wish to become flawless by taking up resolutions and abiding by them....if by any chance i am found breaking them please box me hard....
HERE COMES A TOSS TO THE START!!!
CHEERS!!!!

LESSONS OF LIFE!!!!!

2008-12-31T13:59:00.000-08:00

I AM ABANDONED, I AM CAUTERIZED,
I AM SHOVEN OFF, I AM MINCED,
WOUND BY HAPLESSNESS,
INSIDE A WEB OF HIDEOUS EXTREMETIES OF EMOTIONS.
IN DUE COURSE , I REALISED ,
GOODNESS IS PHONY,
AMONGST THE CONFLICT OF TRUTH AND FALSE,
I SAW AN IMAGE INSIDE SO PIOUS,
AND A REFLECTION OUTSIDE SO SECLUSE.
WEIGHTED ISSUES OF MEANNESS,JEALOUSY AND BETRAYAL,
CRISS CROSS IN MY THOUGHTS.
MY RELENTLESS EFFORTS TO FIND MY DESTINATION THROUGH THIS MAZE OF TIME,
BUT THERE IS A PAL,
WHO IS EQUALLY FORLORN,
SHE IS MY SOUL AND I AM HER HEART.
SHE IS ME ,IN ME,
WE ARE IN SYNERGISM,
KIILING OUR DELIRIUM.
IN THE EARLY YEARS OF MY RIVER LIKE LIFE,
AWAKENED BY SELF,FOR SELF,
AM ONE IN MILLION
TO DISCOVER IT SO SOON..........

a gaze to life!

2008-12-20T11:51:00.000-08:00

In my solace,
in my dreams,
in my outburst,
in my emotions,

I discover myself chained to clutches of anxiety,
I discover to be within my subconsious mind of fear,
I discover my senses getting dilapidated.
sometimes when i close my eyes,
The mind thinks with my eyes in accorandance to my soul,

In repurcussion i found tht i am star,
gradually loosing its luminisence,
like a star which dies in a black hole,
a hole?
does it mean i am a refuge to a hole in me?
may be yes ,may be no.

In repurcussion i found a mirror,rare,
it shows the virtual as well as the real,
it asked am i beautiful?
echos in the form of multiple reflections left me nostalgic,
may be yes ,may be no.

In repurcussion i wondered a lonely island,
it has no human life existing,
I found myself getting re-connected to a lost journey,
basic and lucid,
original and contemporary,
it asked "i am a rebirth of the first man on earth?
may be yes,may be no.

In repurcussions i thought of a toy,
youthful ,live happy at gay,
an object at all's hands,
speechless to acts,
it asked " am i toy"?
may be yes, may be no.

I wish i could hold the sand in my hands for a while,
I wish i could swim the entire ocean ,
I wish i could stare at the blazing sun effortless,
I wish i could fly up in air,
I wish i could.
all questions n no answers,
all desires with limited fulfilment,
parallelism to yes's and no's,
Nothing exists thts forever.
thats life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Indian Woman

2008-11-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

Born like a thousand others,
Nutured like a hundred others;
Hailing from a land of culture and heritage.

The fragrance of her character
like a weightlesss pollen,
gives rise to a new flower.
a woman of righteousness is she,
The indian woman...

Penetrating through the struggles of life,
the pulchritude of her mind,
harder than the hardest rock,
a magical chain is she,
linked by inexorable abilities,
a woman of calibre is she,
the indian woman....

A chiselled wheatish skin,
the eyes that speak volumes
her pink puffed ckeak bone,
and a voluptuous body,
a woman of beauty is she,
The indian woman...

Her attitute is the esteem.
The loyality is she virtue.
Forgiveness is her nature,
A subtle heart,
that revamps a man to live for her.
a woman of grandeur is she,
the Indian woman...

She carries her indian flag wrapped inside her,
carelessly drops it whereever she goes.
And there and born many more mesmerised,
yet she is original in her unique way,
untounched,unperterbed by any vice,
A woman of substance is she ,
The indian woman..........................!!!!!!!!!!!

Gossip...Gossip..a tight flip

2008-11-03T11:56:00.000-08:00

There is a very deadly termite residing in our surrounding which should be given an immediate treatment and killed...i often do wonder why today in this world gossiping is so widespread....Have you ever heard someone talking really good for somebody..rarely.. Why on earth have ppl indulged themselves in it..i pondered quite much and came to a conclusion that only 4 types of people would love to do such a grotesque act....1) people who want immediate attention due to the jealousy they show 2)people who are immodest, who are themselves lucky and everything is their life is like a cakewalk, thereby they havent faced any crisis 3) who feel superior of themselves4)who are absolutely having no work to do......
i personally feel that "more" is also "less"... and people who are getting "more" become so happy that they forget their own businesses and start indulging in someone else's business. yes i agree to that India is a democratic country and everyone has a right to speech but this does not give a rightful license to speak something which is politically wrong,absurd,abscure and ridiculous.
Strangely there are rules and regulations for everything we see around but there are no rules to humanitarianism.
There is a very close observance i made that when you backbite somebody,or gossip and the person who is listening to you if makes even a slight sign of agreement, there is a natural flair to the skin of that person which shines out and one becomes so prejudice that he starts to feel that he is the best....
Sometimes situations go hayewire which are suceptible to anyone and at any point of life. Every human is so complex in his own way that understanding yourself is only such a herculean task...on above we assume that we are so LEARNED that we known every tiny bit of the others and so enjoyably defame the other.....
Life is such a sweet gift God has given us...sometimes i close my eyes i re-think of the past, the present and the future and try to put on balance which was,is or will be the best...but i realised that future is a blank white board, present is like a moving camera..we try to capture it but it is blurd..so certainly cant put future and present on the balance..left is past with which any person isnt really happy coz we are human beings always hoping for better....
Imagine a world where there are no gossip mongers...All of us are smiling with our teeth wide coz we know there is no hatred..no jealousy..no backbiting..no negation...i really want to live that...so let us all try to be more tolerant towards each other...be more lovable..be more acceptable to situations and become more selfless by nature...then only we can possibly hope our past ,present and future fighting to get onto the balance and see which weighs more and precious

cheers!!!

poem

2008-10-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

The evening twilight,
The scattering black and blue.
A jevunile's plight,
Capitualizing in with no clue.
Ready for yet another voyage,
Walking feet stead-fast left and right,
To a place where there is no night.
Busy mines all stood in a line.
Anticipating amongst the rails,
I see a red appearance,
An embossed armlet,
A beautiful mind with a visionary aim,
Counting for a penny,
Carrying burdened load for a many,
tiresome,exhausted and gloomy,
So piteable yet bloomy.
Sat comforting his hunger,
Staid from the moving world,
With a sight vulnerable at his tea and cookie.
Time rolls back for yet another day,
The story repeats itself with a say.
Lucky souls comdemn the sunrise,
While poor ones contemplate their fate.