The words are mine, the touch is real

The presence is felt, the person is me

You know my face, you know the story

you know the time and you know my speech

Months when I dont see you, days when I dont answer

Hours that i spent alone, minutes that I count.

In the altitude of eagerness,

In the commotion of restlessness,

In the quietness of the facade,

In the darkness of grief,

The look is unreal, the tales are fake,

The clock is stuck and my words do slur.

Standing amidst the pace.

fallingly flying

The only shrine and the only place

The lord's grace to hold me on.

Strange is the creation and so is me

A pot full of thoughts

When Imperfections become impeccable,

There lies no camouflage.

When disbelief retards dynamism,

There stays no fact.

When Issues resolve into queries,

there lies no answer.

When growth needs amendment,

there stays no acclivity.

When Meanings are moulded to shapes,

There lies no rivalry,

When attitude becomes accrue

There stays no fathom,

When tolerance becomes a habit

There lies no self,

When emotions get crucified

There stays no buffer.

When righteousness reveals its regression

There lies no spite,

But when experience behaves amateur

There still stays a teacher.

When There is No Time!

Going in Yesterday, I blame that epoch,

Going in fissures of flash faces, I curse those folks,

Dreams intercepting with hallucination, I curse those nights,

Fumbling down ambushed, I blame my shoes.

Infinite lines pass through a point,

Line postulates as its asset,

Never did the point abnegate to diffuse itself,

Resolute empowers sovereignty,

Feeble creeps in tacit.

Time would be no refuge,but a holy destitute.

Circumstance would be no habit, aversion be dutiful.

Goodness would be no characterized, thoughtfully shady I be,

Fate would be no written, rather an inscription by hand.

Yet another dawn, although I do not fawn,

Yet another chance, although I do not intentionally lance,

Yet another crave, although I am not that brave,

Yet another inception, although its nothing more than my perception.

A quiver of wants, and fistful likes.

A tempest anguish, and a plaintive end.

Driven by a marshy road.

Grappling in my shell,

I would never ask even if i Fell.

:-)

When eyes see no horizon,
When the mind releaves its commotion,
When the soul achieves its inertness.
There I stand bungled between the phases of time.

I wonder at the extremeties of God's creation.
A stupor at the contrasting behaviour,
I am bewildered at the seemless persona.
Never imagined myself emoting through the mirror of my own eyes.
How the gigantic jolt took me aback with tears at ogle.

I can now feel being carried away in God's kind arms.
An impeccably drafted journey.
Humbly accepting his presence.
Filling my emptiness with an awe-inspiring present.
I now have answers to those tears of beatitude.

The oooh la la fate for my head

Ever thought how important is the one and only head we have been gifted? Well its not an issue to think in our already so busy and pell-mell lives. But this very incident or better described as an accident made me so much aware of how precious small things are.
On the 23rd dec 2009, i was getting dressed up for a small dinner get together with my friends. Mom and myself chit-chatting over a topic and i still remember the normal life i was living, unaware of what, few couple of hrs would put me into. I casually did a tata at home and proceeded to the place where we all friends had decided to meet up. Gossips and teasing,the noisy clamour were all a part of it. We planned to dine out at a lovely place somewhere located between gandhinagar and ahmedabad. Is dinner out a big deal?????
Well it isnt i know but unfortunately it was a very big deal. I was sitting behind on the bike with a friend, and the bike roughed its way on the streets. A garrulous girl like me with an unstopable mouth would have been definitely entertaining.
SUDDENLY...............................................................
BOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!
GUESS WOT?
As far as i remember there was a cream coloured object in front and everything faded off in front of my eyes. After some time when i partly opened my eyes, i was not even in a state of being purplexed seeing the cemented roof on top of me instead of the sky. As if i was in an inebriated state, confused , muddled up in my head , mind, and heart. I could not even make out that something big happened to me nevertheless i started vomitting emptied stomach. Oh yes with blood in attachment,not to forget. People around me were looking grave and worried but it could be for no long as i was repetitively becoming unconscious.
It was actually a head concussion on my small brain, thats just the back part of my head. Now all this i got to know much later. We actually hit a bulky, huge, giant, stupid, good for nothing NEELGAI. Surprising for many, but this animal came rushing from the sides of the roads where it was covered by forest area. And we dashed against it while my head struck the ground and i was completely in the unconscious state untill i was taken by my friends to the hospital in emergency. But the most frustrating part was my friend who was driving was perfectly fine.Infact he took me to the hospital.Okay thank god otherwise who wud hv carried us both..hehe.
In some minutes i was crying in pain and there were my parents looking completely drowned in pool of tension trying to hold me and feel better. I was hurriedly taken for the CT scan on a streacher.Symptoms of the blow i guess, i was getting drowsy time and again.Well the good news was that the report was normal and the doc told my parents that everything was fine and she needs rest and complete bed rest for 4 to 6 weeks. Just imagine!!!!!
I did not know what exactly was going on and how worse the symptoms were causing ruckus to me.Only what i remember was some wierd people visiting me in the hospital and showing concern over that accident.
I was hospitalized there and asked not to move my head at all. The back part was swollen and it was involuntarily that made me stay in one position. I was craving for food but the doc told me that coz i had been hungry all day and vomitted with nothing inside i hadnt the potential to intake anything. I was kept starved and given the drip of saline on my wrist to keep my body hydrated.The next morning i woke up, I realised the entire set up, was told all the facts and details about the dreadful night. I thought i might be fine, and all this is just to make me feel terrible.I tried to get up,although i was uncomfortable.But this extra courageous attitude in me was hovering over my health and i started munching on an apple, contiguous with an orange, like any normal person. After 15minutes i vomitted.A piece of cadbury's dairymilk was fed to energize me. But for no more than half an hr was it in my stomach. i did not even spare water. Whatever went in came gushing out within mintues. It was then i realised i was actually not well.I gave in, and was lying. It was a challenge to even shift me in the car after i was discharged. Everyone just had to bear my vomitting in return, as a slight movement in my neck that caused a dizzy feel and made me nauseous. The next 2 days were the worst days of my life. I felt as if god is asking for some gratuity in return to have given me these 22 yrs of life.I was taken to another hospital for a second opinion.The commotion it caused to me was beyond my expression. only my vomitings were the answer. Being on the bed for the entire day and night, followed by the next day in the same position , was really tearing me apart. I was on a liquid diet which was actually equivalent to nothing. My stomach had become weak and i coudn take in anything.The smell of the same soup every while, and the antibiotics sickened every nook and corner of my body. I started to vomit for no rhyme or reason.It continued for a week.
The Christmas, and New Yr all passed away and i was wondering as if i ll be ever back to normal or not.The house i am in, where i tumble every now and then, roam about freely all the time and climbing up n down the stairs endless times, all seemed impossible and only a thing of reminisce to me. I use to look at the creb which i had made on my own out of thermocol and clay on 23rd evening itself. All the decorations for the christmas tree were kept tied inside a poly bag which was never opened. A religious tea drinker like me was out of all milk products.
Gradually on 2nd i thought to myself that enough is enough. i need to be strong and try getting up. I took off the blanket , kept my feet on the ground and closed my eyes. I held my head tight to control the giddy feel and started walking. I felt like heaven.As if i was out of some paralytic condition. I shocked my mom, although she was happy and worried at the same time.Ever since then everyday was somewhat better than the previous. Only the new thing was that i was trying to be normal and my parents who were already traumatized by the incident wanted me to rest. Then i never looked back, although i use to waiver while walking, sometimes fall for no reason,needed support to walk,but i was so nauseated with lying and sleeping that i just wanted to be upright.
Its been 21 days now and i am licensed to be like a normal person although i had broken the rule long back. But i am still being pampered for not stressing at all and it will last for a month or so.I am still making faces seeing a tea, coffee or any milk product. The capacity with which i vomitted had made me allergic to few things. And my gyming and exercises is at bay.Hope mom and dad allow me to go back and resume the normal life soon. People say i look pale and weak, and i am really happy to receive these compliments as i look thin its more than enough. But nobody @ home likes this, i am been fed so badly, the doc says to give all energetic foods to give me inner strength coz this head is the most sensitive and vital part of the body that needs full and healthy recovery. But slowly i have started moving out, and after a long wait and request had a great time watching a movie at the theatre.My lovely friends come to see me which added the zest to heal sooner.And the blessings of my neighbours, family friends who visited me during the critical time.But not to forget my parents who nursed me at every step.Things are coming back to "normal".It feels great.:-) And what i learned is to have immense patience and ofcourse destiny decides its own course.

do u believe in karma??

what is karma? karma is nothing but ones deeds. But y am i talking about such a spiritual subject.well all our lives are chained to karma in some way or other. Remember the age old maxim that we just blurt out whenever something wrong takes place. "jo hua achhe ke liye hua". if v think deeply it actually makes a lot of meaning. in our lives so many thing happen. some are good while others may be noxious. But only those people who see the repugnant part can believe in karma.
The logic of karma is like newtons third law of motion" Ever action has an equal and opposite reaction". Its the same as ,as u sow ,so shall you reap... There are two schools of thought in relation to this. one says that whatever sinful you do in this birth , is paid to u back in the next rebirth. while the second school of thought says that whatever you do,good or bad, is resolved , repaid to you in this very same birth... now how cool is that. In the Hindu mythology the first school of thought is given a lot of importance. But few of the holy spiritual people , the sages of the past who have acquired knowledge and wisdom out of meditation do believe in the magic of karma. So many people we know around us who actually resort to innumerable vices. Now if we follow the analogy of karma such people will not be spared. Its not something i am speaking hypothetically. i have experienced it.
Let things take its own course. And if your inner conscience is pure , there is no way you ll be harmed. As i have my own story and history where i had let things go , i actually received kudos in return. Decades back mahatma Gandhi came up with this weapon of non-violence.i do accept that it might be an obsolete thought today but on a deeper delve ,it may be karma itself. we got our independence not because we resorted in non-violence ,it was bcoz Britishers were running out or resources to support or rule a country. now wasn't that our karma.. that could probably be the reason. well these are just imaginations of a spirited minded people like me.
Now let me talk about my very own experience. Talking abt it might be controversial,but there were people in my life who gave me tough time. I knew they ll get their fruit in some form. Some day i will definitely get a pleasant news about them. This is my belief in karma. There is always one time in you life where you r been put on a testing machine. And that is the time where you should not let the evil dance on your head. We are always provoked to do so, but if you do good , there is no better respect you will earn for yourself. At the end of the day you can look up in the sky and shout aloud " that i am pure, i am holy". some day or other every person will be a victim of karma. Life is a chain reaction, it will fall on you if u make it fall on other.. Nobody can run, you, me , we are all puppets in the hands of the laws made by nature.
This article is for peace-loving people like me...cheers!!!!!

oopps!!!! is now okay

hii friends.... the title may sound lil absurd to one and all..let me clear the picture of what exactlyy i am trying to potray..... all of us have certain instances in our lives, where we feel like hiding our faces... my life of 21&1/2 yrs has shown me an alarming number of such incidents where i exclaimed""" oops!!!!""". Right from my school days followed by the 4 yrs of college and hostel i mite have come across infinite such experiences.
My classmates would defnitely agree to this,but i mite be the only girl whom they wud have got bored watching ,shedding tears..its been such a hard luck, i dont understand as why i become the scrape goat. I actually believe that there is some shadow walking with me which somehow makes me land in "shit" always..if i can recall few of the descent ones worth naratting ,i was in 10th std when once i had gone toa nice , pretty shop to buy a perfume for a friend.very casully and meticulously i was smelling the fragrances when " ksssssshhhhhhhhh"a bottle fell from hand and it was all on the floor. i felt as if i could dissolve in that and disappear into fumes. i remember being into pool of mud during the rainy reasons and it was somewhere near my hostel, i was trying to come out of it, but the more i tried to escape the deeper i scrolled down. and there passed a bunch of people who looked ,starred and laughed,instead of helping me to come out.
how can i forget,me being sacked out of the class for writing the file during lectures for which i dint get an entry for a week. i was made to get signatures from the principal and i actually lost some weight climbing, up and down rigorously for getting permissions and buttering teachers to allow me.The best and the funniest part of it was after the matter was resolved i came out of the office and i simple cried..the level of frustration was so high that it wasnt funny then. Another time i was walking back from my college to the hostel, and god really dint make it fair, my footware broke while i was walking in the foyer. I mean dint the chappals get a better place to break. when hundreds of people are glaring at u and u break your shoes its not just oopps!!! to add this my friend started laughing instead of helping.. its like bad things come in bulk. In second yr i was to board a train from Anand to Ludhiane. there was a wedding and i was asked by my dad to travel by myself. it was the first time i was to do such a long night journey alone.. now Anand station at that time had 3 platforms outta which 2nd and 3rd are the functional ones. there was this platform which had no number and was directly connected to the entry point of the station. i was very intelligent to believe that its the no 1 platform and waited for the train. 12;30.....a train came whistling to somewhere far ahead. and there my eyes popped out seeing the name.. it was the train which i had to board. i toppled up and down, juggling my footsteps doing gymnastics over 3 consecutive platforms and i opened the door from behind while the train started to move. thank god that i managed to get it, no matter i was something like a entertainment for people there but my parents wud hv kicked me hard had i missed it..
such incidents actually have no end. All my very close friends in the past and present, i guess would agree to this if they read this article..
but over the time i have learned now to tackle such embarasements... its not new for me to say ooopsss noww..haha!!!!!